Do You Have Overachiever Syndrome?

Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty.” It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism.” It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success.

Bobbe Sommer

According to a recent report, it’s believed that 85% of all people (78% of all women) suffer from low self-esteem. Now, the researchers admit that their numbers may be slightly skewed, because there’s no real way to measure self-esteem. But even if those numbers are off by 10% either way, that means there’s huge amount of the population who aren’t practicing some self-love.

Also when you look at those numbers, it’s hard to tell just who the researchers studied. Age was not listed as a factor. So, if the study involved mostly young or adolescent women, those numbers could be off significantly as that age group is known to have serious issues with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can develop from many factors. It usually starts in childhood or early adolescence. When a child is constantly told they’re perfect and can do no wrong or they’re constantly berated and told they can do no right, they’ll most likely lack self-esteem as an adult.

The other thing that’s glaringly unclear in this research is whether they studied only those who underachieve because of low self-esteem or if they included those who have overachiever syndrome and mask their feelings of low self-esteem by becoming over-achievers. Those children who experience “perfect child syndrome” tend to fall into this category.

Overachiever Syndrome

My previous PCP (Primary Care Physician) is a prime example. He was a highly acclaimed physician, biomedical engineer, and literally a rocket scientist. But, you could tell from simple conversation he had zero self-esteem. And when making comments, he would always say things like, “no worries, you’re just perfect the way you are.”

An overachiever is one who achieves success over and above the standard or expected level especially at an early age. Some overachievers are very confident and have a healthy relationship with their success. They’re simply driven to prove to themselves they can do it.

But, those who overachieve out of a lack of self-esteem may find that they try harder, work more, and set higher and higher goals than the average person because they need the validation. They need to live up to being that perfect child. If they don’t get the type of validation they expect, they continue to set higher and harder to attain goals until someone sits up and takes notice.

They’re unable to control the controllable, which leads to being overworked and overwhelmed. Controlling the controllable is about learning to control your attitude and effort. When someone lacks self-esteem, they’re unable to feel any sense of pride for their accomplishments so they keep pushing harder and harder assuming if they can do it, it’s not be a big deal. Anyone can do it.

Failure Is Inevitable

Overachievers who constantly seek validation, really don’t have any faith in their abilities and talents. They need an outside source to tell them how important, special, and worthy their contributions are. And although they may accomplish much, it’s never enough.

They continue to keep setting less attainable goals pushing themselves to become overworked and overwhelmed. Soon, their lack of self-worth finally takes over and failure becomes inevitable. And once an overachiever begins to fail their lack of self-esteem only magnifies sending them down what could become a very dark path.

For Overachievers, it’s imperative to first find out what brings joy without validation. If they choose only those achievements for which they need validation they’ll never discover their true desires. And will continue to live a life that others intend for them.

Tap into Your Talents

Every one has a unique talent or set of talents. Writing, designing, creating. It’s through discovery of theses talents and the joy they bring that you learn to define your strengths. Strengths that only you possess. And, it’s through defining these strengths that you come to understand that you are unlimited in all you do.Your unique talents and strengths set you apart.

Two people may be very talented writers, one may write novels and the other marketing materials. But simply because they chose different subject matters doesn’t mean that one is less talented than the other. Both may excel in their area of expertise, the novelist may sell 1000’s of books while the marketer may sell 1000’s of widgets.

As long as you hold on to needing societal approval nothing will ever be good enough. You’ll still set goals but be unable to take real pride in any of your accomplishments. It’s essential that you learn to free yourself of the need for validation from others. Once you’re able do this, you’ll see that all the validation you could ever seek already lies within you. And any goal you set can easily be achieved.