Rejection Is Essential to Your Success

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”

– Robin Williams

Life is full of rejection. “No” was probably one of the first words we learned as children. When someone tells us “no,” our first thought is generally, you can’t tell me no, or oh yeah, we’ll see about that.

And, depending on who the rejection comes from it’s that much harder to take. Along with that first reaction of defiance comes a punch in the gut, a hit to the ego, a feeling of what did I do wrong?

Rejection is often so hard to take because we believe it points out all the little the flaws we tend see in ourselves. When we don’t get the gig we pitched it feels like we have failed in some way. We begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities. It goes back to why didn’t they choose me, what did I do wrong?

Depending on how we process the feedback we may even feel like it’s a personal attack on our character or our ability as a writer. No doubt about it, every time we face rejection our ego takes a major hit.

A Threat To Our Very Existence

Rejection can also awaken that part of the primal brain. When we’re sending out pitch after pitch and not getting any response, or we’re getting told no, we begin to feel as our very survival is as stake.

We need to have regular projects to make enough money so at minimum we can keep a roof over our head and food on the table. When we face enough rejection, fear sets in and our survival instinct takes over.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way. In business, rejection is rarely personal. It’s simply a matter of the business looking for a different fit. Not that our pitch was awful, it just wasn’t the right pitch for that publication.

It’s not easy, but learning to embrace rejection can be an essential tool to creating success. How do we learn to push aside those fears and embrace rejection? It starts with knowing who we are and empowering ourselves.

When we’re confident in our abilities we no longer allow fear, anger and pain to control us. We can step back and look at the rejection objectively. Instead of, from a feeling of what did I do wrong? Or, the classic, why don’t they like me?

An Empowered Position

Seeing rejection from an empowered position allows us to use it as a learning experience. We can objectively ask, why was my pitch rejected? Not why was I rejected? From this perspective we can begin to separate the two.

Practicing mindfulness and giving ourselves some time to tap into our emotions can help us to better understand how we process rejection. It can also help us to see that sometimes rejection can be a good indication of whether or not we’re moving in the right direction.

If we find ourselves consistently hitting roadblocks, that could a sign that it’s time to reevaluate where we are, where we’re going and what kind of changes we need to make to get there. This would also be a good time to reevaluate exactly what success means to us.

Knowing this can also help us to set realistic goals and avoid falling into the trappings of FOMO and having to keep up the “Whoevers.” When we know exactly what success looks like to us, we can eliminate that “hustle” mentality and move forward at our own pace free of overwhelm.

Rejection Is Part of The Process

As a writer, rejection is simply part of the process. I often use the analogy that being a writer is much like being a baseball player. It’s all in the numbers. You’re going to strike out seven out of ten times you step up to the plate.

But, if you hit three out ten, you’re batting three hundred, and that’s good average. Most players would be very happy with a consistent three hundred average. And, since it’s all in the numbers the more pitches you submit, the more likely you are to finally hit a few out the park. Okay, enough of the baseball analogy.

When used as just another tool in our writing belt, rejection can help us focus on the right moves to make. It can lead us to seek out our purpose for writing and target the right audience to hear our message. Which allows us to face less rejection in the future.

We should never let the fear of rejection hold us back from sharing our message with those who need to hear it.

For More Help

If you feel that you could use help learning how to empower yourself so you can more easily deal with rejection, check out my E-Book…Passion. Purpose. Persistence! Setting Yourself Up For Success.